How to get more comfortable with sharing your writing

Seeking feedback is a quick way to grow as a writer.

It helps us figure out what is and what isn't working with our story, without all the second guessing we get when we're writing solo.

Getting a little boost to the creative ego can also do some real magic for your motivation. As writers, one of our toughest challenges is finding the will to keep going when it feels like finishing our books and getting published is so far off. Being able to talk about your story and characters as though they're real and not something you've just made up is just about the biggest source of encouragement I've found for the unpublished writer.

Why then, is it SO scary to share our writing with other people? This simple act can bring out the worst of our sensitivities and insecurities, filling us with self doubt and embarrassment - and it's likely to do with the deeply personal nature of writing. In order to write well, we have to do it wholeheartedly, so of course it's nerve wracking to put it all out there.

This fear is certainly not something I'm immune to myself, either. I recently took part in a free session with editor Sarah Fraser, over at Novel & Kind Editorial. It took me longer than it should have to send Sarah my writing sample, and I went over those chapters a good few times before I was happy enough to hand them over. As the date for our call drew nearer, I fleetingly wished I hadn't signed up for the session.

In spite of the sharp spike of panic I experienced when sending my sample, and those whispering doubts that nagged me until the call, it turned out not to be fear after all. It was discomfort. The discomfort of placing my words in another's care simply felt so new and potentially dangerous that I nearly scared myself out of it altogether. I'm very glad I didn't, as I ended the call feeling practically euphoric about writing and getting back to my manuscript.

As writers we have to learn to live with that discomfort. If we want to be published we have to accept that others will eventually read our words and inevitably have thoughts and opinions on them we may or may not like. We have to get past the fear stage, move through to discomfort, and hopefully build up some resilience for the future.

So, how can we get past that initial fear of sharing our work for the first time?

Start small

Does anyone know you're writing/have written a book? If not, start there. It can be surprisingly difficult (and liberating) to start actively sharing your project with others, even at the still-in-progress-stage. Try talking about your ideas with the people in your life who'll show interest and support.

Experiment by showing up and being visible in different, smaller ways.

The boundaries of our comfort zone can be nudged and expanded gradually. You don't have to share your whole book with someone if that feels like too much. Try sharing a snippet on social media, or post some flash fiction on your blog. You can even do this fairly anonymously these days - by creating an account not connected with your name - which will help you get some distance from how the work is received.

Be choosy.

Seek the feedback that matches the stage of your work you're at. If your book is coherent and the plot coming together nicely, maybe a family member or friend could beta read it for you. If you're almost finished and your manuscript is fairly polished, that might mean getting a freelance editor, like Sarah, to read your work. If you're not ready for technical or editorial feedback, or you want to talk about your ideas and find some encouragement to help you push through and finish, you could try a book coach or mentor.

Be clear and specific when you ask for feedback.

Letting someone else read your work is scariest when you don't know what to expect. Make sure you mention what kind of questions you'll be asking when you hand it over, and if you're not up for the harsh truth just yet - set that expectation in advance.

Ultimately only you can decide when you're really ready to share your work with someone else, although it might be just a little sooner than you think. Dig into what really worries you about sharing your work - do you have some insecurities about your writing that could be addressed? Often it comes down to two questions - are you more afraid of having one person read your work, or of staying safe and invisible as a writer?

If the answer if yes to the second option, you're ready, and I promise it's worth it!